Office Buddies Day

Do you feel dissatisfied at work?

2007-05-07T23:02:00.000-04:00

Do you ever feel your job is totally insignificant? Looking back at your career, do you ever regret the many choices you have made? Do you believe you could have achieved a lot more had you not done A, B, or C?

Sometimes I think it's mid-life crisis. Sometimes I think I just have to come to term with reality.

I know I am no CEO material. But I honestly believe I could be and should be doing a lot more...

Please share with me how you handle the feeling of being an under-achiever? Thank you!

Are you in physical pain at the office?

2007-05-06T21:13:00.000-04:00

I was! I have been - for so many years! I have tried different work station set-ups before, but I never found anything that truly relieved my pains. I really thought I had to live with the pain for the rest of my life - unless I get a second career and become a movie director or an astronaut.

Then I went to see an occupational therapist, and she must think I came from a different world. She explained the right posture and workstation set-up to me like I was a kindergarten student. I finally went and bought new office furniture. And right that instant - when I had a keyboard tray installed so I can now type with my arms bent at a 90 degree angle - my pains were gone - immediately.

I'm like a born-again worker now! And then a number of my coworkers, as they started noticing my new workstation, told me how much pain they're in.

Fellow office workers - I urge you to go fix your work station. While you may still hate your work, at least you won't be hating in pain!

Blessing or curse?

2007-05-01T23:45:00.000-04:00

Are attractive women in a disadvantageous position at work? When they deal with coworkers, bosses, staff, and clients, do they appear more threatening while at the same time less competent?

Age-old questions. Age-old issues.

I love dressing up to work - that's a key motivation for me - that I can dress up nicely everyday, let other people see how nicely I dress, and give me compliments! I worked from home for a couple of years and I hated that I didn't have the opportunity to see and be seen.

Looking good makes me feel good, so I'm more motivated at work. I believe it's a blessing that women have so many fashion choices (and aids) to make us look pretty. Let's not make it a curse!

Are "office buddies" and "leadership" mutually exclusive?

2007-04-30T22:29:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine is constantly complaining about her job - that it's boring, she's not getting anywhere, her boss is nasty, and she's underpaid. But she doesn't want to quit because of her office buddies! She has a group of buddies at work - they go to lunch together everyday, hangout on weekends, and of course gossip during the workday!

I never had a lot of buddies at work, but I have always found my job challenging and rewarding.

My friend and I are obviously at two extremes. Is anyone out there who is in the middleground? Or there is really NO middleground?

If you have a challenging job and you are good at it, chances are you are a leader and a b _ _ _ _ at the office!

If you have a non-threatening job and you have lots of friends, chances are you are one of the many invisible workers.

I admit I'm a b _ _ _ _ who dreams - and I want to believe you can be successful AND have a lot of friends at work. Please tell me this can happen? It may not happen to me, but it can happen?

Do "women's clubs" exist?

2007-04-28T22:10:00.000-04:00

When you read about the research reports on how women work together, you get the impression that women do look out for one another at the workplace.

Is that your personal experience though?

I've been lucky. My women bosses have been extremely supportive to me and I have had many inspiring mentors throughout the years. But I have also seen how women fight against one other - with no mercy.

Some women I have talked to seem to think that women are actually more demanding and even hostile towards other women than how they act towards men. My theory is that women tend to compare among themselves directly in all aspects - thus the jealously and amnimosity. But women don't, or can't, compare themselves to men in many ways, thus making it a little less brutal.

Please share with me your view! I'd love to hear it from both men and women!

Would you apologize?

2007-04-27T23:19:00.000-04:00

Your boss tells you that you should assume Coworker A will not have the bandwidth to work on your project. So you think you must get resourceful and you immediately line-up people to take over what B's share of work.

Then you get a nasty email from A blaming you for having excluded him in the project and have other underqualified people take over. He is NOT going to help when these lesser people fail. It's a really nasty, brutal, email.

What do you do now? Do you blame it on your boss? Do you fire back at A? Do you apologize?

You know A doens't mind not getting his part of the project, but he minds not being part of the project.

I was in this exact position today. I sent A an email and apologized. I invited him to join the project and sent him 35 documents for his background reading.

He emailed me back to thank me, and said he would let the current team do the job. He would be glad to help though he was confident the team wouldn't really need his help.

The 35 documents really dd the job!

And it was a very, very nice email.

Which hurts the least?

2007-04-26T19:04:00.000-04:00

My neck, shoulders, arms, wrists, and fingers hurt! Which is only normal as I type 9, 10, 100 hours a day on my computer at the office.

Should I request my employer to buy me an ergonomic (and very expensive because it's ergonomic) chair to relieve some of the pain? Absolutely!

Will my coworkers feel jealous when my chair comes? Absolutely!

This is really weird - I have asked quite a few of my coworkers if they suffered any body pains as they were always typing like neanderthals, and they all said no. I don't understand how that's possible, but maybe I'm just physically and mentally wired differently from others!

My fear is that my coworkers, when they see my beautiful new chair, will not know - or really care - why I get that chair. All they see is that I complain about some stupid pains and I get a new and really expensive chair! And my head begins to hurt thinking about the consequences of being an object of jealousy at the office...

After much painful thinking, I've finally decided I just have to get a new and expensive chair if I want to continue be a two-armed person, with my arms working. But I'm paying for it myself.

Among my bank account, my arms, and my head, my bank account will hurt the least.

Having a terrible day?

2007-04-25T20:43:00.000-04:00

It was a terrible day at the office today. Terrible clients, terrible workload, terrible stress.

In the middle of all the craziness, I sent a short email to Management - telling Management how happy I was with the work of a coworker. This coworker doesn't report to me, but we are working on a terrible client project together. She's simply awesome - and I want Management to know that.

I got a thank-you email back from this coworker right away, saying I made her day! Apparently my compliments gave her the support she needed just to make it through the day.

I am so happy to know that I have done a little something for a coworker who fully deserves every word of acknowledgement and appreciation. At the end of the day, it was really MY day that got made!

Don't you hate office b-day parties?

2007-04-25T00:19:00.000-04:00

It's your b-day, and the office manager simply HAS to buy you a b-day cake, gather everyone in the department, sing the ridiculously boring happy b-day song, and have you cut the cheap b-day cake and have everyone eat the terrible-tasting cake. You have to smile and thank everyone, when you know people are hating you because you are taking up their time - they will probably have to stay 5 more minutes to finish up the work. And you have to make that dreaded speech... you have made the same speech for 30, 40, or 50 years already. And again this year!

It's even worse when you really don't have too many buddies at the office, or, like most people, you have none. People eating your b-day cake are either your enemies or they really couldn't care less about your b-day, your (or your wife's) "labor" day, or simply put - your day. It's embarrassing and borderline humiliating when nobody wants to talk to you while eating your b-day cake.

It gets worse when you are middle management - your staff doesn't want to be seen as kissing your ___, while your bosses have 5 other more important meetings to attend than your little b-day party. So you are standing there, all alone, eating your b-day cake.

My Office Buddies Day tip - bring in your own b-day cake! Pick the coolest, funniest, funkiest b-day cake ever! (Be creative and provocative!) Any decent person (even your enemy) eating your cake that you have bought with your own money would at least say "thank you" and "happy b-day" to you. Then you won't feel lonely - at least during the party.

And the best of all - you can bring in a yummy cake of the flavor of your choice.

Why do people hate us?

2007-04-23T22:36:00.000-04:00

Don't you feel there are coworkers out there who simply hate you - no matter what you have or have not done! You have tried everything you can - being ultra-friendly, buying them lunch, praising them for their great work... - and none of that worked. They are always cold, even borderline mean.

There are times when you start doubting yourself... "Is it because I don't know enough, so I don't command their respect?" "Is it because I'm a woman?" "Is it because I'm Asian (or Hispanic or too tall or too blonde)?" Basically... is it me?

It's tough dealing with coworkers who hate you for no reasons... But even tougher dealing with your own self-esteem. There's a point when your self-doubt make you angry not only at your coworkers - but yourself!

This is what I have personally experienced - that works: there are basically 3 ways to deal with these people. 1. Continue to be ultra-nice to them - make it like a game for yourself! If that person always make some nasty remarks about your ideas, challenge yourself and see how many days/months/years it takes to get that person finally acknowledge you have a good idea or two! 2. Move up the organization chart! Become that person's boss - and he/she will HAVE to be just a little bit nicer to you! 3. Be grateful you are NOT as mean as that person! You can still retain your self-respect - and respect for others!

Money or People:

2006-04-24T12:46:00.000-04:00

Which would you prefer: an ideal job and benefits – with the worst coworkers; or a not-so-great job with average benefits – but the best coworkers?

Of course in reality most of us are stuck with the worst of both worlds: a not-so-great job with average benefits – and the worst coworkers!

But if we were to rank what’s most important when we had to make a decision to stay with our job or leave, “coworkers” is probably one of the top factors. I’ve always thought I could be bought – give me an obscenely large pay – and I can put up with the worst work environment, including people. Throughout the years, I have actually had jobs that paid very well, but the people were terrible! Some were mean and others had zero passion for what they did. Some pushed others too hard and others never took on any accountability. Some had poor work ethics and other had worse. Some gossiped – no – in fact all gossiped. And I have left these companies – for different reasons. People wasn’t necessarily the biggest reason – but definitely one of the reasons.

Today, I’d rather get a smaller (but decent) paycheck – and work with a group of talented, motivated, and inspiring people. (Of course, the word “decent” must not be overlooked.) What about you?